On staying together

Vidula and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary yesterday. 24 years would mean that I have spent approximately 30% of my life so far in Vidula's company (assuming I survive till 75). 

Time spent with our spouses is considerably more than what we get with our other relatives. A spouse gets connected through the ritual we call 'marriage'. Rest are thrust upon us simply by the accident of our birth. Today we have a say in choosing our spouse or partner. So why not make an attempt to have a lasting relationship? We human beings crave for some social connection. One even has the option of choosing a partner of one's own sex if one is so inclined. Marriage is not yet legally recognised but staying together is possible.

No relationship is perfect in the Bollywood sense....it just cannot be. Life is unpredictable and the path we traverse unknown and with twists and turns. What better way to navigate this uncertainty than to have your partner alongside? 

Vidula and I have had our ups and downs. Fortunately, the ups score over the downs. As far as complementing each other goes, I guess it is more about knowing when to back off, when to give space, heeding and asking for advice, confiding in each other, speaking about your worries, appreciating good deeds, appearing vulnerable when you feel so and most importantly be forgiving without holding any grudges. Couples fight all the time over the most trivial of issues. Left unaddressed for a long time, they snowball into something monstrous. 

Anger management, ego management, even tempered expectations go a long way in making a relationship successful. 

Our सहजीवन (like most other marriages) is work-in-progress. One cannot be too exacting in one's expectations of a partner lest we forget our own failings. 

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