Women's Day 2020

I wrote this small write up on our Tuesday-Friday exercise group

International Women’s Day 2020

I wish all my friends a very happy Women’s Day. Achievements of women in various fields are celebrated on this day. The media is full of interviews and stories of successful businesswomen, educators and entrepreneurs. All this is fine, even necessary. But somehow I get this feeling that this day now suffers from tokenism. Women will get plenty of wishes, flowers, dinner at a restaurant or maybe some gift but tomorrow onwards things will be ‘normal’ again. Men would still expect wives to make a hot cup of tea in the morning’, wash clothes and then put them out for drying; look after children; be obedient to the elderly; open the door when they return home in the evening. Women are expected to do all these things irrespective of whether they work or are homemakers. The very fact that we still need to educate or remind people about acknowledging the achievements of the fairer sex denotes that women still haven’t got their due.

We fondly remember our parents and grandparents and share stories about their thriftiness, hard work, challenging circumstances etc. but do not give a thought to what our own wives would be going through. Working women have to walk the tightrope every single day. Travel in the most abominable conditions, protect themselves from unwanted attention, work for 8 hours, worry about all the meals that they would be expected to make or supervise, teach the children and then tuck them in bed and later at night be available to satisfy the husbands whims and fancies.

A woman is expected to be Karyeshu Dasi, Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu Lakshmi. Nowhere do we find what is expected of us males.

There would be scores of examples where women have played a stellar role in keeping a family together. Where men would curse their destiny and take resort to drinking or gambling, women manage the household in spite of the discouraging and frustrating circumstances. Talk to any maid in any home, the common thread binding them would be a useless husband who has _gifted_ her penury and many children. The woman has no time or inclination to curse her destiny. She works. On and on.

Let us today share stories of our own female relatives or friends who have been brave, resilient or have been a guiding light to future generations.

My grandmother was one such lady. She was semi-literate and singularly unlucky. She lost her husband (my grandfather) at a very young age. She had three daughters to tend to when she lost her husband. Most Maharashtrian Brahmin families were destitute those days and their condition was no different. My grandmother’s maternal uncle took pity on her and educated her. She became a teacher and moved across many towns and cities in search of better employment. It was very unusual for a single woman to shift her household in those days, that too with three daughters in tow. She somehow managed to educate her daughters and later even marry each one of them. My grandmother Smt. Indumati Patwardhan retired as the headmistress of a school in Chalisgaon. She used to say that man can learn a lot from adversity. It is up to you to choose what to learn. We never really understood what hardships she must have had to face. She was young and very very vulnerable. But she managed, thrived and persisted.

I urge all friends to share similar stories so that we all would be enriched.

It is time that this gender discrimination ends.